Sweat beads my forehead as I’m jolted by the sound of my alarm. My heart pounds so hard I can feel it in my ears as it slams against my sternum.

Tapping the off button, I suck in a deep breath, trying to gain my composure. I’m disoriented, trying to understand the foreign red brick box I’m sitting in.

The last time I leased an apartment was with Ryan as two giddy kids in love, ready for the next adventure and newfound freedom in our life and as a couple.

The landlord is letting me pay cash with no legal lease. I think she knows I’m running from someone by the hopeful look on my face and the stark pink scar that now sits in the crook of my neck.

I roll myself out of bed, making a mental note to buy a coffee pot today. It’s the only way I function for the day, though I’m not proud of my reliance.

I wash my face, brush my teeth, then examine myself in the mirror. Thankfully the bruises and cuts are gone, save for a mark that’s there to stay on my neck. The fresh pink skin just barely healed, and is too bright for concealer to cover.

The fluorescent bathroom light does not do me justice. I still bear purplish rings under my eyes from the fitful nights of sleep. Rubbing my darkened eyes, I reorganize my thoughts.

I washed my face, moisturized…mascara, right.

Usually, I don’t like to wear much makeup, especially since I spent most of my days outside, in the sun, sweating or in the ocean. Even at work, I’m either being covered in bodily fluids or sweating, wiping my face with my scrub sleeve. So the effort of makeup doesn’t feel worth it.

But for today, I throw on that mascara in hopes it will get my life together the way it does my lashes. The mess of blonde curls on my head are barely manageable, but I somehow get them into a halfway decent bun.

A force of habit has me grabbing my stethoscope, ready to put it around my neck when a memory halts me. My breath is stuck in my lungs as a reminder of what it felt like when my own stethoscope was suffocating me surfaces.

I shove it in my pocket and smooth out my scrubs, trying to steady my trembling hands. Despite my attempts to control my ragged breathing, my heart still thumps frantically in my chest. Each beat a litany of small mistakes that got me to this point. All the signs I missed had I not been a girl so in love.

I use a trembling finger to graze the tender scar across my neck.

All because I loved a boy.

TYLER

My morning is spent sparring with Cole after a too long weightlifting session to blow off some steam. Running a hand through my sweaty hair has me shaking off a jab he got at my jaw. He’s strong, just as strong as me, which makes sparring a challenge and keeps our skills sharp.

Cole’s shoulder length black hair drips with sweat while his hazel eyes fixate on me. “Giving up so soon?” he taunts.

Taking a big swing, my fist lunges for his five o’clock shadow. He ducks, trying to hit me on my bare stomach. My abs contract, preparing to take the brunt of the blow but I’m able to veer back and get him in a choke hold. He fights but I hold firm.

Take that, cocky bastard.

“Okay, okay!” he yells, laughing in my sweaty arm.

“Giving up so soon?” I bite back as I release him.

Chuckling, he looks at his watch. “We should probably head to the office. We went over our time today. We can just shower there.”

Nodding my agreement, I pack up my things. “We need to make a quick stop for coffee at Betty’s.”

“How come?”

“I lost a bet with Sam. I’d rather not have my balls pinned to the wall if I don’t hold up to it.” I sling my bag over my shoulder.

“You really think Sam will freak over a coffee?”

“Have you met Sam?” I laugh. “Besides, I could use an extra coffee. Sounds good. Something is telling me I’ll need it today.”

SUNNY

The lack of coffee in my system is already making itself known by a dull ache blooming in my head. I glance at my watch, noting I still have some time for a quick stop before stepping into a day of orientation.

I continue my walk towards Mass Gen, scoping out the next coffee shop to appear in my trek. Finally, I come across a quaint little place with a fast moving line despite it’s booming with people. The homey feel makes me sure the coffee will be worth it.

Within five minutes, I’m facing a cute barista staring at me with big brown eyes. “Welcome to Betty’s Beans, what can I get for you?” She smiles brilliantly, an echo of the girl I was just two weeks prior.

“A large black coffee, please.” Not just because I don’t have the patience to wait for anything more, but because I have to save my pennies. My savings have taken a dip, and I need something for my next location because that’s my life now — a girl on the run.

I wait in a corner while reading the directions on how to get to the security office to pick up my badge. This hospital is massive compared to my previous one. The maze I have to navigate through gives me anxiety, but it doesn’t take much these days.

As my name is called, I shove my phone in my pocket and grab my coffee from the bar. I take a sip, relishing the taste in hopes it’ll simmer down the headache already beating at my temples.

My phone rings, prompting me to shuffle items in my hands as I make my way out of the coffee shop. Just as I’m able to answer, I feel myself colliding with a hard, sweaty figure.

A not so subtle gasp leaves my lips, considering the impact and coffee that spills all over my scrubs. Large hands settle on my shoulders to steady me as I sway.

“Shit,” I say, looking up, seeing who just spilled coffee all over me.

A tall body towers over mine, packed with lean muscles, each serving a purpose to build the beautiful man that stands before me. This only fuels my anger, because how can I be upset over this?

When I peer up at him, I’m met with shocking emerald eyes and a sweaty hoodie that hangs over short brown hair.

For a brief moment, shock flickers through those beautiful eyes, like I’m an answer to a question that has been lingering. I can’t pinpoint what that means or why he feels it.

My very nature has been groomed to read body mannerisms, changes in tone and the way eyes darken or light up. I’ve been made to analyze every single thing about a person to predict what will happen next, and if it’ll hurt or help me. It’s my job as a nurse, and it became my life with Ryan, too.

There is something wild behind his green eyes now. A promise of freedom with a threat lurking right behind it. Yet, he looks at me as if I’m something exotic or amazing.

A fire I thought was snuffed out kindles inside of me. It’s small, but it’s aflame and burning. I thought it was nothing but smoke after everything that suffocated it. Suffocated me.

A smirk pulls his lips, so feline, so intricate as if each move of his is fluid and filled with purpose. Meticulously planned down to a simple smile that has me wondering why it’s appeared.

Keeping my eyes on his, I don’t say anything at all while I challenge his stare. He doesn’t move out of the way or even take his hands off my shoulders. Not even a damn apology for ruining my scrubs and coffee.

Instead, he says with a voice silk like night, “What filthy words for such a pretty mouth.”

TYLER

As soon as she looks up at me with those round blue-green eyes, my heart beats differently because it wants to beat only for her. Words can’t describe what I see when I see her.

My smile only lights a small fire behind her eyes, one that is begging to become an inferno. Once the shock fades, her anger returns in the form of a scowl that scrunches the constellation of freckles across her nose. The bun of sunshine curls does absolutely nothing to reduce the height difference between us, only making my smile bigger.

That fire only grows behind her eyes, and a part of me wants to edge it on just how big those flames can get.

Clearly unamused by me, she finally looks up while I continue watching her, waiting for her to say something while refusing to remove myself from her. I search her face, waiting for her to say anything because I’m clearly so desperate to hear it.

I finally manage more words, considering my previous comment hasn’t elicited any from her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She blinks, still in shock. But the tone laced between each letter tells me she isn’t. In fact, her voice has a bite.

Just as quickly as her anger came, it’s been replaced by a default of sadness. A quick glance at her watch has her pushing past me without another word.

My eyes search her body, desperate to find a badge to tell me her name, where she works, something to indicate how I can find her again because she is already running from me.

“Please, let me buy you a new coffee at least,” I say, observing the coffee stains on her scrubs. “And maybe even reimburse you for the ruined scrubs,” I chuckle.

Despite her pause, she still doesn’t seem appeased by me. “No, thank you,” she says over her shoulder.

I’m trying everything I can to just keep her here a little longer. If curiosity killed the cat, then let me find my grave because I need to know more about this girl. My heart pummels in my chest as I frantically search my own mind for reasons to make her stay. But something tells me old cards won’t work on her.

“Or at least new scrubs…” I move in front of her again, blocking her path to the door.

“I’ve had worse things on me. I really have to go.” She gathers herself as she pushes past me, her shoulder hitting my arm as she does.

Fuck, that makes me smile even harder.

“Please, I feel awful. Something tells me I was at the right place at the right time,” I plead. Something tells me this isn’t an accident.

Just stay a little longer.

“Sure, you tell yourself that, but the coffee stains on my brand-new scrubs on my first day tells me otherwise.” She turns around, making me surrender to her escape.

“Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.” I grin, even though she can’t hear me.

As I watch her walk away, I feel something in my chest tugging for me to go after her. Yet, I don’t.

The only thing that remains of her is the coconut and vanilla scent that has managed to linger in the air.

Not much tends to capture my interest. A life of not reacting, not feeling has consumed me, creating a very goal, predatory mentality, allowing nothing in and nothing out. I’m a glorified hitman, my very purpose is to be calloused in order to get the job done as flawlessly as possible.

But she…she has caused something to invade my darkness and penetrate through these thick black walls. Shine light into me, making my humanity want to resurrect from the grave I buried it in years ago. Thawing what has gone so cold inside me with that little fire kindling inside of her.

And all at once, I am obsessed.

Something in me says that her name is the answer to a question I’ve been seeking my whole life.

And I’m determined to get those answers.

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