Mr. Johnson wants to meet you.

Today, six this evening.

His place.

The text was from an unknown number. It wasn’t surprising. Ryan went through assistants like underwear. He could be a difficult prima donna to work for. The surprising part was that he wanted to meet tonight. I thought he was out of town for another two days, on his tour.

It had been three weeks since the award ceremony and the night I ran into Vasili. Seeing him after all that time shook me more than I cared to admit. It was stupid that I still wanted him with the same intensity as I did five years ago. Knowing how he used me and then discarded me, you’d think I’d know better. But my damn heart wanted what it wanted, without regard for what was smart.

“Gun victim, coming in five minutes,” someone shouted, and immediately I shoved all thoughts of Vasili and Ryan aside.

The next few hours the atmosphere in the ER was hectic. Surgeons, physicians, and nurses running around, working together to save the victim. We each all our own important part in saving people.

Three hours later, I was finally able to call it a day after a twelve-hour shift. It had been a long day, I was exhausted and tired. There wasn’t anything more I wanted to do than just head straight home, take a shower, and crash.

I briefly debated just ignoring that text. It was so tempting just to go home and get my much-needed sleep. I was glad Ryan was back, but I wished it had happened yesterday. It was a much quieter day. Or maybe tomorrow when I was supposed to have a shorter shift.

I peeked around the corner from the ER, the place I have called my home for the past four years, and a relieved sigh left my lips. No paparazzi and no reporters. God, how I hated being followed by those! It was the single biggest downfall to dating Ryan Johnson. Since the premier, the spotlight was even more on him and his life. As the lead singer of The Surprise Blink, it was a necessity for him. For my career, it was a nuisance.

Ryan and I were an unlikely couple in the world of the rich and famous. Our interests and careers were vastly different. Even more, our personalities were too. He loved being the main talk of the public; I loved being unnoticed. Although he was just a few months older than me, he still looked like he was twenty-one. Sometimes he acted like it too. It was what made him popular. That nice boy charm.

So unlike Vasili who was more dark, cruel, and cold. I shook my head, shooing the thoughts of him out of my mind. I had to stop comparing him to Vasili. I noticed it happened more frequently since I ran into my blast from the past.

Ryan and I met in an unusual way for a rockstar. I ran into him in the cafeteria of the ER. His guitarist fell off the stage and hurt his arm. His friends rushed him in, and it happened to be my shift. I had no clue who they were, but they all hovered around me as I set their friend’s arm straight. An hour later, he was getting a cast and I was getting a fresh cup of coffee. Ryan spotted me, offered to buy me a cup of coffee, and the rest was history.

The hot air was heavy as I walked down the sidewalk. Ryan’s place was a ways away, but I needed some fresh air after a long shift. Although today was a bit too hot. It was the last week of September but Los Angeles tended to remain hot much longer than the East Coast. Initially, the weather attracted me, but now I missed all the seasons. Yes, I could drive to Tahoe for some winter or Yosemite National Park in the fall, but it wasn’t the same. There were days I told myself it was time to move, but then, I’d convinced myself to stay. This relationship with Ryan was difficult as it was. Between his touring schedule, constant appearances at various publicity events, and my hectic schedule at the ER, we didn’t have much time left for us. Dating with thousands of miles between us wouldn’t bode well for our relationship.

Despite my tired state, my chest warmed at the thoughts of him. It was good that I would see him tonight. Sometimes I just needed some time to warm up to an idea. Like to see him out of the blue.

Or move in with him. I recalled our conversation from the last night we spent together, before he left for his tour. He asked me to move in with him again. It was a big step and though my brain said just do it, my heart resisted. There was no logic to it.

“I love you, Isabella.” His voice was soft as he showered my neck with gentle kisses. “I have never asked another woman to live with me. But with you, I want it all.”

My body was relaxed, my heartbeat slowing down after what he had just shared. I didn’t feel intense, crazy chemistry with Ryan, but I cared for him, and I enjoyed everything we shared, in and out of bed. The question was did I love him?

I raised my head off the pillow. Our eyes met and I searched his eyes for… what? I wasn’t sure. I loved him too; maybe not exactly the same way as he loved me. But that was because there was a part of me missing. Someone stole it years ago and hadn’t given it back yet.

Ryan’s deep brown eyes stared at me, and I knew each second of delay caused him pain.

I smiled to assure him there was nobody else for me but him.

“That’s a big step, Ryan.” It ended up coming out, instead of the yes. “Let me think about it.”

His hopeful expression shattered and guilt hit me straight into my heart at being the cause of it.

“Please,” I added in a soft voice, my fingers tangling through his hair. “There is nobody else I want to do this with… I just-”

The words escaped me. What could I possibly say? I needed time. We’ve been dating for two years. A lot of people moved in after just a few months of dating.

“I understand,” he muttered, shifting away from me.

I pulled him back to me, meeting him halfway. “Please let me think about it. You are leaving for your tour. When you are back, we can discuss it, and how we would go about it. Please, Ryan. Let us not part like this,” I begged.

A soft smile lit up his face and his nose brushed against mine. “Okay. You are right. I want to be here when you are moving, so we can do it together.”

And that was how we parted. His nose brushed against mine, then his lips searching out mine. Ryan was everything… gentle, soft, thoughtful, caring. Everything Vasili wasn’t.

I should tell him yes tonight. It was the right move, a step in the right direction. He wouldn’t watch me with a cruel sneer on his face as he shattered my heart into a million pieces.

I waved at the doorman of Ryan’s building and he smiled back. Something about his smile though; it was almost pitiful. I ignored it, attributing it to melancholy. The next instant I understood it though, there was a group of paparazzi and cameras swarming the hallway.

This was what I hated the most about dating Ryan Johnson. He was always surrounded by paparazzi. My back went rigid and I scurried along, hoping they’d fumble with their big ass cameras and I’d be inside Ryan’s apartment before they caught up.

No such luck though. They were right on my tail. Usually, they weren’t allowed inside the building, and I pondered why they were inside now. Maybe some publicity stunt was going on, I guessed.

I took the stairs, two at the time, and fished the keys to Ryan’s apartment out of my purse on my way to his floor. There was only one more floor above his and that was a penthouse that belonged to the building owner. Apparently, nobody knew who that was. A huge mystery that intrigued the residents.

Pushing the key into the lock, I barely made two steps in when I saw it.

Ryan naked as he fucked some blonde bombshell bent over his couch. Both of them naked, her boobs on full display, his body behind hers. My heart spiraled lower and lower while their grunting and moaning indicated they were reaching their peak. My chest tore with each sound, the unbearable lump choked my throat, and then, I just went numb.

I should have said something, done something. Instead, I stood there frozen. Incapable of moving or speaking. The clicking sound of cameras and flash was what finally startled me out of my stupor. Those two never even realized I entered the room. Ryan’s eyes lifted and everything stilled. The woman panted, demanding more. Ryan’s eyes met mine and my breath halted for several heartbeats. I had started to open my heart to him, and for the second time, it got smashed to pieces. By two different men. A look of guilt replaced the love in Ryan’s eyes.

At least he wasn’t smirking like- I couldn’t even think about that right now. It would break me.

I turned around without a word, softly put his apartment keys on the nearby table and left through the door. The cameras still flashed from the hallway, capturing every single moment of my heartbreak. The last time a man broke my heart, at least there weren’t witnesses. This time, the whole world would see and know. I shut the door to his apartment and my heart, firmly but softly.

I would not do this again.