Excited chatter explodes all around me as each of the participants is shown to a room to change. My heart hammers harder than the ceremonial stomps that just rang out in honor of the spirits, and I move robotically to the robes that have my name written on a white piece of deer hide that’s pinned to them so that there’d be no confusion.

I run my hand down the smooth fabric, the wool of the robe feeling heavier than I realized it would. The wide stitching on the sides is to allow the fabric to tear apart easily so that our new wolves don’t get stuck in it when we change for the first time. It leaves small gaps between the pieces of fabric that show off hints of skin and peeks of the body. I’ve always wondered what I would look like draped in the black fabric. I guess I’ll never know.

I grab my hanger and the beautiful belt that’s laid out separately. I run my eyes over the fine stitching on the belt, an image of a howling wolf appearing through the various colors of thread that have been sewn together masterfully. I’m curious who made it for me. Usually, it’s your family that creates the special sash and it’s the only thing we’re allowed to keep from tonight other than the spirit of the wolf that chooses us. But I found my mother’s half-finished efforts in her room after she died, so I know this belt isn’t her handy work.

I run my thumb across the beautiful gray furred image and look around to see other participants still laughing and teasing each other and just now starting to undress. I fold everything over my arm and leave in search of a bathroom. No one says anything to me as I go. The awkwardness of our exchange earlier in the salon still hangs heavy in the air between us, and I get the impression they don’t care that I don’t want to change in here with them. They’re just happy I’m gone so I don’t continue to dampen their moods.

A delta waiting outside starts in surprise as I open the door and walk out. Straightening up, he looks over at me with confusion when he sees my robes draped over my arm instead of being on my body like they’re supposed to be.

I shut down any nervousness and fix a sheepish smile on my face. “Is there a bathroom I can change in?” I ask awkwardly.

“Four doors down on the right,” he answers, an understanding look in his eyes.

Luckily, my request doesn’t seem to be all that strange. Yes, once we start shifting, regular nudity isn’t taboo at all. But none of us have shifted yet, so I was hoping the shy card wouldn’t be all that unusual.

“Thanks. It’s just so loud in there, and I really want to take my time and mentally prepare,” I explain, hoping the lie helps to buy me just a little more of a head start.

The delta offers a grunt and nod as I walk past and hurry to where he said the bathroom was. I open the door, locking it behind me, and flick on the light. I shove my robes in the sink and quietly move to the window on the back wall just left of the toilet. Biting my lip, I turn and shove my robes aside before turning on the water to help drown out any sounds that could give away what I’m really doing in here.

Adrenaline spikes through me as I pull the lever that locks the window. A small click sounds off when I flick it open, and then slowly, I start to push the pane up. The smell of trees, sap, and soil greets me, and I quickly bend to the side and flush the toilet so I can knock the screen out undetected. The delta isn’t standing right outside the bathroom door, but I can’t dismiss his shifter hearing.

As soon as the toilet whooshes with a loud flush, I jam my elbow into the screen as hard as I can, inwardly celebrating when it pops right off and falls outside. I stick my head out of the window and listen for a beat, waiting to hear any indication that anyone has heard or noticed what I’m doing, but nothing happens.

I pull my head back in, grab onto the upper sill of the window and kick my legs out into the open space, swinging my body out. I drop to the ground with an audible thud on the balls of my feet. Breathing hard, I stay frozen, not daring to move as I try to clear the beating of my heart in my own ears so I can hear if anyone is coming.

All that greets me are the sounds of the forest, but I don’t let excitement or victory wash through me just yet. This is just the beginning of what I know is going to be a long and terrifying night.

I move stealthily away from the pack house, out into the tall trees, while working through the best option for how to get to my bag and then where to go from there. I won’t go to town this time. They’ll expect that. Maybe my previous trek will work in my favor and my scent from earlier will be a trail that leads a good portion of the hunting party astray.

Instead, I’ll run for the rivers tonight. I’ll douse my scent in their waters and ride them as far down as I can until I’m closer to a safer civilization. It’s a risky plan, but the only one that will work. I won’t be able to outrun the pack all night, and they won’t immediately think I’m in the freezing cold water until I have a solid lead on them. There’s got to be another human town I can reach, and then I’ll stuff myself into a bus or cab and put as many miles between us as I can.

For a second, I consider abandoning my bag in the bushes, but it has everything; my clothes, my money, and my mom’s hairpin that I stuffed in the front pocket at the salon. I can’t leave that behind. It’s all I kept that was hers.

Determination filling me, I know I have two options. I can pick my way through the woods and stealthily make it back to where I stashed my things, or I can make a run for it and get to it as quickly as possible. As risky as that seems, I know it’s what I need to do. There aren’t any betas sweeping the perimeter tonight. Burke always gives them the night off from guard duty during the Flux so they can partake. As if to prove my point, I hear cheers and clapping, the celebration growing rowdier.

I take a second to gather my bearings, eyes sweeping the dark side of the pack house, the noise and orange glow of the fire emanating from the other side. I don’t have a second to waste. With one more puff of breath, I take off. My feet fly across the grass and mud, past pinecones and rocks. I think for a second that I’ve somehow overshot my direction, but then I spot it—the bush I hid my bag in. I rush over to it, digging my hand beneath the rough brambles, fingers closing around the strap. I yank it out, pine needles falling off it like rain.

My heart is pounding now, so hard I can practically taste my pulse in the back of my throat. Hurriedly, I sling the bag over my back, holding the straps tight as I turn and run deeper into the woods. I make it ten feet before the first shadow moves.

I skid to a grinding stop, shoes digging into the earth, eyes going wide in horror as Burke steps into view. The break in the trees above shows the glittering fury rising in his black eyes. “Going somewhere, Seneca?” The tone of his voice is filled with something dangerous, something dark.

Instead of answering, my feet back up a step and turn to the right, my body ready to tap into the flight response now surging through me, but as soon as I take a step in that direction, Seamus steps out from behind a tree. I go left instead, but another beta steps out next, blocking my path. A snapping twig makes me jerk a look over my shoulder, finding a fourth male, Conrad, behind me.

I’m surrounded.

I lick my lips, shooting another look at Seamus, who now has an ugly smirk on his face.

Burke clicks his tongue, and somehow, it sounds as loud as a cocking gun. “What’s in the bag?” he asks, stepping closer.

“None of your business.”

A sharp crack of a laugh comes out of him, but it’s definitely not humorous. “That bitchy tone isn’t going to be tolerated.” His eyes flick behind me, and that’s all the warning I get before Conrad is there, yanking the bag from my back. I whirl around, clawing at the straps and trying to get it back, but he’s too strong. It rips out of my hold, and I go falling onto my hands and knees.

I scramble back to my feet, shoving curled hair out of my face, just to watch the bastard unzip it and dump out all the contents in a pitiful heap. “Ha! Got some cash here, Alpha,” Conrad says, but when he steps forward to pick up the money, his boot lands on my mother’s hairpin. I hear the snap like it’s my own bone cracking, and fury floods me. One blink, I’m standing there in horror, and the next, I’ve rushed at him with all my might.

Because I surprise him, I’m able to push the big beta off, making him stumble back a step. I reach down and grab the snapped wooden stick and cuff, but before I can shove it into my pocket, Burke appears in front of me and tries to rip it from my grasp.

“No!” I cry, as his thick, meaty fingers pry my hand open from its protective fist. He plucks the pieces from my grasp, holding them in the moonlight for a second before his cruel black eyes fall to me. “Token from Mommy Dearest?”

“Give it to me.”

I shouldn’t have shown how much it meant to me, not in front of them, but it’s too late. I just reacted without thinking.

My eyes track the movement as he tucks the pieces into his pants pocket. “Nah, I think I’ll keep it.”

“You fucking bastard,” I growl, and I raise my hand to smack the look off his face, but my arms get restrained by Seamus’s hold. I struggle in his grasp, but I might as well be a mouse trying to pry itself off a glue strip.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Burke says, taking a step toward me, feet crunching over leaves. “You’re going to walk back into that clearing, wearing your robe like a good girl, and then you’re going to get your wolf.”

“It’s my choice,” I snarl, arms bending painfully beneath Seamus’s merciless hold.

“I’m your alpha, and you do what I say!” Burke snaps before he raises his hand and grips my face hard. “Once you have your wolf spirit, things will become clearer for you. You’ll know your place.”

I stare at him defiantly. “At your feet? No fucking thank you.”

He drops my face to wave a dismissive hand. “At my feet, on your knees, bent over in front of me, your cunt ready and waiting…”

My foot shoots up to nail him in the groin, but he catches my ankle, twisting it enough to make me yelp in pain. “I see you’re gonna do this the hard way. That’s just fine.”

Still holding my foot, I’m forced to balance on one leg as he looks over to Conrad. “Robe.”

Wordlessly, the beta steps forward, somehow already holding my robe in his hands. He and Seamus shove me into it like they’re dressing a doll, and I’m in danger more than once of getting my shoulders dislocated from their manhandling treatment.

“I’m not doing the ceremony!” I spit as Burke finally drops my ankle with a heavy thud, my thigh muscles screaming from being overextended too long.

“Yes, you are. And you’re going to behave yourself in front of the Spirit Weaver.”

I glare at him with all the hate I can fathom in the depths of my eyes. “Fuck. You.”

Quick as a flash, his fist is in my hair, yanking my head back. “I will. Before the night is done. I bet your wolf can’t fucking wait for some alpha cock.” I start trying to fight again, but he looks over to the other betas. “Bring him.”

A frown mars my brow, but I can’t turn my head, not with the painful hold he has on my hair. My ears twitch with the sound of a struggle, and then two new betas are dragging someone forward between them in front of my line of sight. The blood drains from my face when they toss the male to the ground, and I see it’s a bloodied and beaten Hess.

“No,” I whimper, my heart squeezing at the sound of his pained groan. “What did you do to him?” I demand.

Burke wrenches my head back so hard I see stars, my scalp screaming, neck bending to the point of paralyzing pain. I freeze, staring up at his hateful face. “I didn’t do anything, Seneca. You did this. By betraying your pack. By trying to betray your wolf. Since you don’t have the spirit, I can’t punish you physically…yet. So that leaves your kin.” A mean smirk curls his lips. “Too bad you don’t have any of that either. Hess had to fill the position. You should be thanking him.”

My burning stare drops down to Hess, whose swollen eyes are watching me with too many emotions to track. Sadness. Guilt. Desperation. More and more cross his features, but Burke blocks my view, hand leaving my hair to pinch my chin. My heart feels broken in my chest, shattered into sharp pieces that keep stabbing me from the inside.

“If you don’t do the ceremony, Hess’s life is forfeit.”

Burke’s words make me slump, all of the fight cut out from me like a tripped circuit. It’s gone, and in its place, there’s nothing but dark failure.

Vicious satisfaction crosses his face. “You’re going to do what you’re told tonight. Say yes, Alpha.”

I swallow thickly, eyes trained numbly on my feet. “Yes, Alpha.”

His hand drops, and so does Seamus’s hold, making my body slump to the ground, palms scraping on a rock hidden beneath the brush. Burke yanks me back to my feet so fast my head swims. “We don’t want to get your robe dirty, do we?” he asks with condescension, but my eyes are on Hess, who’s still bleeding, still breathing heavily on the forest floor, his pained and defeated gaze still on me. I can’t bear to keep eye contact, to see what they’ve reduced him to because of me, so I drop my stare to the ground, submitting to what’s been done even though everything is screaming for me not to.

When Burke leads me away, I go without struggle. “See? Already being a good little bitch,” he jokes.

Somewhere far above the treetops, I swear I hear a wolf spirit growl.