Chapter 1

ALORA

“What next?”

I cannot believe that I’m searching for this.

Setting the letter to the side, I open my computer. I know I promised that I would do every single last thing on this bucket list and I want to…but honestly?

This?

Nerves dance in my stomach.

I tip my head back to the ceiling. “Are you laughing up there, bitch?”

I type into Google:

Anonymous sex club for kinks

I read through the results.

First one…. No. Again…no…no.

I read on to the next page.

The Establishment is a private, five-star facility resort in Switzerland.

Explore your needs, wants, and kinks in a safe and anonymous environment.

How does it work?

We at The Establishment believe that everyone should live their life to its full potential and leave no stone unturned.

Many people have sexual desires or interests that are not cohesive with their lifestyle, current relationships, or religious beliefs.

We help you move past this without barriers in a clinical and safe environment.

One weekend.

Total confidentiality.

Names and personal information are never shared between clients.

How do I apply?

Submit your application with what experience you would like to explore.

If successful, we match you with a person or people of your desired sex with the same needs and wants as yours.

What can I expect?

Day One – Arrive at the resort and enjoy one night in your private room alone.

If desired, all patrons have access to a sexual psychologist for a consultation.

Day Two – You will be introduced to your partner or partners as Jane or John Doe, under no circumstances are names ever exchanged.

There are no names or data kept on the in-house database. A security breach or cyberattack is impossible.

You will then spend the next twenty-four hours in a private suite with them living out and enjoying your every fantasy.

All suites are equipped with a private swimming pool, Jacuzzi, steam room, gymnasium, bondage and playroom, swings, and the appropriate benches. All equipment such as toys and lubricant are supplied.

Day Three – You part ways with your partner/partners and spend a night in your own private suite to recover.

Day Four – Satisfied…you return home to your life without the risk of anyone ever finding out.

Your secrets and health are 100% safe.

Confidentiality Is What Sets Us Apart

The cost to visit THE ESTABLISHMENT is €70,000.

Don’t live life wondering what if.

Apply for your dreams to come true today.

“Seventy thousand euros…what the hell?” I click out of it in disgust, that was sounding so perfect too. Ughh…I knew it was too good to be true.

I flop back onto my couch. I guess at least at that price you know people are definitely going to be discreet.

I mean…I do have the money she left me….

No.

My mind goes back to the hospital, so clear in my mind that it’s like it was yesterday. I pick the letter back up and read Misty’s bucket list for the ten thousandth time.

I promised that if she didn’t make it that I would do it for her, every last thing.

I get a vision of how sick she was and how hard she fought and all the things on her wish list that she should have gotten to do herself.

My eyes well with tears, no matter how much time goes past…. Her loss is something that I’ll never recover from. Best friends are supposed to grow old together; it’s the unwritten law.

Her words from the hospital echo through my mind: If I don’t get to do these things, Alora, promise me that you’ll do them for me. You will, I told her…. But even then, deep down, I knew she wouldn’t. And I was right, because that’s how it ended.

I’m living my life for the two of us now.

My eyes skim the letter. I have one thing left to do.

#9 Peg a guy.

I smirk, Misty was a such a dirty bird. How the hell was an eighteen-year-old girl so deviant?

I don’t want to do this one, how can I do this one? It’s so far from anything I have ever ventured into. I click into Pornhub and type into the search bar:

Pegging

I peruse through the options and finally find one that I like.

I hit play and watch….

I begin to perspire.

It’s weird and wrong and…hot.

Fuck.

No, it’s a hard no.

EDWARD

Paul looks over the top of his glasses across his desk at me. “Hello, Edward.” He smiles.

I run my tongue over my teeth, this guy pisses me off. “Hello.”

“How are you today?”

I flick my hands up. “I’m here.”

“And have you had a chance for any reflection on our last visit?”

“Yes.” I glance at my watch. “I don’t have long today.”

He smiles calmly as he folds his hands on his lap. “Let’s recap, shall we?”

I exhale heavily. “Do you have to say the same thing every visit? Don’t you get fucking bored?”

Paul smiles and I imagine myself punching him out of his chair.

He reads his notes. “You are here because you have control issues.”

“No.”

Paul looks up at me. “Why are you here, Edward?”

“Because I promised my sister, Charlotte, that I would see a psychologist.”

He runs his finger up his temple as he watches me. “Charlotte is important to you?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “This is a waste of time, this is my sixth visit and I’m not getting anywhere with you. Of course she’s fucking important to me, why else would I be here?”

“You can’t fix a problem until you admit it, Edward.”

I sit forward in my chair. “I don’t have a problem. I like control, I like to take it from people…I like to assert mine. That’s not a problem…it’s an asset.”

His eyes hold mine. “How is that working out for you relationship wise?”

I run my hand through my hair.

He keeps reading his notes. “Take your time.”

Fuck off.

I glance at my watch.

“On our second visit you told me that you have had a string of broken relationships. That you like strong women but they can only take your need to control for so long before they leave.”

“I leave them,” I reply, angered.

“Do you leave them because you want to, or do you leave them because you begin to feel out of control yourself?”

I roll my lips.

“You see, I think that you know you have an issue, and that you hide behind Charlotte making you come here. That deep down you want to see me and you want to correct this.”

I stay silent.

“Am I right?”

I feel adrenaline scream through my body. “Maybe.”

“Tell me this, Edward, have you ever thought of tackling control head-on?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” I roll my eyes. “Can you hear the things you say sometimes? How am I paying for this bullshit?”

“You are here because I’m left field and I get success. Regardless of how unorthodox my suggestions, there’s no denying I do.”

I exhale, it’s true, he is supposed to be the best.

“You’ve told me that you’re a highly sexed individual,” he says.

“Yes.”

“How often do you like to have sex?”

“Daily.”

“And if you don’t have sex?”

“I fuck my hand,” I reply coldly. “Get to the point.”

“What would you consider the ultimate handover of power to a sexual partner?”

“A woman?” I ask.

“Is that your sexual preference?”

“That’s my only preference.”

“Okay…let’s run with that. How far would you let a woman dominate you in the bedroom?”

“I wouldn’t.”

He sits back in his chair and smiles. “Not at all? Not even in the moment?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“You came to me because I get results and we are getting nowhere in this office. Let’s explore other possibilities.”

He digs through his drawer and slides a card over the desk to me.

THE ESTABLISHMENT

“What’s this?” I ask.

“It’s a private facility in Switzerland, I think it would be very beneficial for you to visit.”

“Why?”

He folds his hands in front of him. “I would like you to explore the possibility of handing your power over to a woman. Give yourself completely over to the experiment.”

I frown as his words roll around in my head. “Meaning what?”

“Have you ever thought of visiting a dominatrix?”

“Nobody is fucking me with a strap-on cock,” I spit.

He smiles, clearly amused by my horror. “It doesn’t have to come to that, but I think it would be good for you to explore other ways to hand over your sexuality and vulnerability and to learn trust.”

“No.” I shake my head. “No fucking way in hell.”

“You might like it.” He smirks.

“I absolutely know I won’t.”

“It’s one weekend. Confidentiality is assured and you will be anonymously matched with a woman who has the same needs as you.”

“What woman would need this?”

He smiles. “I’d like you to find out.”

“No.”

“If you go and you can’t go through with it…at least you’ll know.”

“Know what?”

“That there is a control issue and that way we have a good place to start moving forward.”

“What in the hell is letting a woman dominate me in bed going to do?”

“It’s going to free you from fear.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Prove it.”

SIX MONTHS LATER.

ALORA

“Is there anything else I can help you with, Miss Doe?” the bellboy asks.

Like what…?

Wait…do the bellboys give out sexual favors here too?

Oh dear god, I want to run far, far away.

What the hell am I doing here?

“No.” I force a smile. “I’m good.” I close the door of my suite and sit on the bed and look around. I’m at the Establishment, the kink hotel in Switzerland.

I flop back onto the bed and look up at the ceiling as I search for divine guidance. After going round and round for months, I knew if I didn’t do this now…that the wish list wouldn’t be completed. I have no idea if my future boyfriend or husband is going to be into it and if he isn’t, I can’t do it with someone else.

It will be too late.

I’m using my inheritance to do this, and I’m terrified and creeped out and I hate to admit it…a little excited.

I get up and turn on the taps as I run myself a deep bath. I sit on the edge as I wait for it to fill.

Tomorrow I meet him, Misty’s stranger. I smile as I think how proud she would be of me and even I have to admit, I’m a little proud of me too.

I pace back and forth in my room.

This was a bad, bad idea, what on earth was I thinking? There’s no way in hell that I can go through with this. I want to leave; I want to leave now.

He’s due any minute…my eyes dart to the door, if I just leave now, nobody would be any the wiser….

I’m wearing a black fitted dress and heels; my dark hair and makeup is done.

I’m even wearing lingerie and suspenders.

All I know about my date for the weekend is that he’s between twenty-five and thirty-seven, he’s heterosexual and that he wants to be pegged by a heterosexual woman.

Who is supposed to be me….

No names or personal information are going to be exchanged and this is the only time we will ever see each other.

I swallow the nervous lump in my throat.

I glance over to the black box that was delivered an hour ago. The equipment we need for the assignment.

Fuck…. I can’t even bring myself to open the box and look at it.

Bang, bang, bang…goes my heart.

“Shit, shit, shit.” I hold my temples as I imagine how horrifically bad this could be.

Knock, knock.

He’s here.

I glance to the window, wondering if I can jump out of it and escape.

Oh no, it’s too late to leave. I’ve wasted all my money on paying for something that I’m unsure if I’ll be able to go through with.

I open the door and am greeted by another bellboy wearing a white uniform.

“Good evening, Miss Doe.”

“Hello.”

He steps to the side to reveal the man standing behind him, our eyes meet and the air leaves my lungs.

Tall, dark hair, and handsome, with the biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen.

Utterly gorgeous.

We stare at each other as electricity crackles in the air between us.

“May I present Mr. Doe.”

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