Chapter 4

4

The wallpaper above her bed frame was glued in my brain the way it was glued against her walls. I got so close to running my fingers against it.

A wedding party softball game was what Levi had told me last night. Goosebumps had risen on my arms at those words, because to play softball in front of a group of people I didn’t know was one thing. But to play in front of Levi? Well, I was screwed.

You would think this situation would be ideal seeing as I played softball in high school. But, you’re wrong. Because when it came to doing anything in front of Levi, I was a complete disaster. Anytime there was a chance of impressing him, my body failed me.

He used to come try to come to my games every Saturday morning and I’d have to create some elaborate lie as to why he couldn’t come, because I’d only ever hit foul balls when he was there. Every time he came, I felt this intense pressure to be good, which made me horrible. Like I wasn’t leaving home base type of horrible. The only reason he knew I was good was the other players cheering me on in class the next day after I’d hit a home run for us—a game he wasn’t there for, obviously.

Looking back at myself in my bedroom mirror, I sighed. A white tank, and an open navy-blue button down that met the ends of my denim shorts felt like a sufficient outfit for softball game. While large cherries dangled from my ears; something I had picked up at the flea market weeks ago after leaving the fabric store.

My hair was just long enough to sweep into an elastic and through the back of Dad’s old baseball cap. Moving closer to the mirror, I searched for any rogue eyebrow hair and put lip gloss on, praying it’ll keep me from gnawing on my bottom lip.

My mom always said that was a bad habit. She was like that; always wanting to make sure that she fixed every aspect of life, making up for the lack of a father figure the past few years. Her fixing ranged from convincing me not to get bangs to holding my hands when I cried on the kitchen floor over a ruined dress.

As stressful as it was to be a Type B raised by someone so Type A, she dedicated every unfree hour to me when I needed it. Did it often involve a mountain of sticky notes, putting plans in her Google Calendar, and creating to-do lists that I don’t think are appropriate for certain situations? Yes, but I loved her for it.

The sound of a car horn made me jump from the mirror and toward the window. Lifting the window up with a grunt, I leaned out to find Levi getting out of his car.

Sticking my head out the window, the greenery that climbed the brick of the home brushed my head as I tried to get a peek of his figure. I admired how the sunlight shined through the hanging trees, highlighting his brown hair, and making his eyes look like a mixed paint palette of shades of green. His eyes were this special hazel that could go from greens as vibrant as ivy to the deepest of browns. Curse my perfect eyesight.

“Coming!” I shouted, causing Levi to look up in surprise, a smile effortlessly spreading across his face. Closing the window, I ran down the stairs right as I began to panic. Could I do this?

I could do this. I’ve made an entire dress from a pair of jeans in one night before. Was it ugly? Definitely. But did I do it? Yes, and that’s all that mattered, so maybe I could handle this too.

But as I pulled the door open and saw Levi standing there— backwards baseball cap and T-shirt with rolled up sleeves that clung to his biceps and all—my ability to speak expired. He looked so perfectly toned; you could see it in the way he gripped a drink or picked up his sisters. He had just enough muscle that would allow him to pick you up, kiss you, and carry you over his shoulder. His dark, loose curls were just spilling out from under his hat, and his lips looked darker under the shade of the trees and townhouse awning.

I watched as his lips formed a small smile because—oh my gosh—I’ve been staring at him. How long had I been staring at him? Speak Daniella, speak.

Trying to regain any possibility of looking normal, I said, “I’m almost done, I just need to finish my make-up.” I led Levi out of the townhouse foyer and into Mandy’s unit.

“Daniella Maria wearing makeup? To think I thought you hadn’t changed,” Levi teased as he took in the eclectic apartment around him. Windows that were ambushed by ivy; flower arrangements on every surface that stood; corduroy mauve couches decorating the living room we stood in. As well as the fashion magazines Mom and I shared, dancing along the coffee table.

“I haven’t seen your family in a long time, I want to impress them,” I shouted back in defense. Applying makeup and parking a car were one in the same to me. They were two difficult things that I only did when necessary. Parallel parking and applying eyeliner were not natural things. But if I was going to fail at softball today, then I at least needed to look presentable.

I jogged up the stairs to the bathroom, creating as much distance as I could between Levi and I to let my body return to a normal internal temperature.

“Especially when I have no idea what you’ve been saying about me the past few years,” I said laughing, leaning over the sink, applying mascara. It was supposed to be a joke, but I kind of wasn’t joking.

Levi laughed, the sound of his voice becoming clearer as he appeared in the doorway of my bathroom. “It’s nothing bad, don’t worry,” he said shaking his head. I felt tempted to ask him what he had been saying. But as he leaned against the doorframe, I refrained from asking.

I had so many questions that I yearned to ask him, so many things I wanted to share with him. Every bone in my body wanted to revert to high school habits when we held hands and stood a footstep away from one another when speaking. But my present self was too nervous to even look him in the eye, let alone try to start a conversation about our past.

“Dani Daisy, we’re home!”

“Crap,” I muttered, my lashes brushing mascara into my eyebrows because they reached so high. My mom and Mandy were supposed to be at the farmer’s market for at least another

two hours.

“Is that Linda?” Levi held a mischievous smile, obviously excited. Of course he would smile, my mother loved him, everyone loved him.

“I didn’t tell her or my aunt about this,” I said stressfully, referring to this fake dating plan we had.

“Mandy’s here too?” Levi asked with even more excitement.

“What are the chances you’ll go out the window?” I asked with a I know it’s a slim chance but please look.

“We’ll just tell them the truth, don’t worry,” he said nonchalantly.

But I was definitely worrying because my mom and Mandy watched me talk and cry over Levi for months after our high school prom. If they knew I was pretending to be Levi’s girlfriend, they’d be horrified, and an intervention would then be staged to address my sanity shortly after.

“We can’t,” I said quickly, grabbing his shirt to keep him from leaving.

“Why not?” he asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

Pulling together the first lie I could think of that would make sense, I said, “Because I just got out of a relationship.”

“You did?” He pulled back. It was a partial truth. I had been on more than enough dates with this guy who was a TA for one of my classes. But it wasn’t serious, and I was the one to end it. He never cut his hair and didn’t wear enough deodorant; it was never going to work.

“Yes, and if they knew we were pretending to date, they would think I’m delusional and heartbroken,” I spoke so swiftly that it didn’t give him a moment to question it.

I left the bathroom hastily, trying to get as far away as I could from my bedroom and Levi before the two women downstairs would find us. Maybe he would stay in my room until I found a way to sneak him out.

“Hi Mom, hi Mandy,” I said with a smile, finding them in the kitchen. “What happened with the farmer’s market?” I asked, trying not to sound suspicious as I hugged them both.

Mandy sighed, waving her hands in circles as she spoke, “What didn’t happen, is what you should be asking. Hal didn’t have my cucumbers, your mother forgot her wallet here, I wore two different shoes,” yup, two different shoes were on her feet, “and then I—”

“Where are you going?” my mom cut Mandy off, noting the baseball cap and sneakers I wore like she was collecting evidence. Her tone was serious and motherly enough that Mandy didn’t interrupt her.

Apparently, I don’t wear athleisure often.

I did my best to remain casual. Drawing out my words until I knew what to say, “I…am…”

“Coming to play softball with my family,” Levi spoke up behind me in the doorway of the kitchen, finishing what I definitely did not plan to say. A heart melting smile pressed into his sharp cheekbones with his hands in his pockets.

So much for waiting in my room.

“LEVI!” My mom and Mandy jumped from their seats, running past me, and enveloping Levi in a hug only women with motherly bones in their bodies could offer. Levi embraced them back, his arms stretching around them with nostalgic love.

I couldn’t help but admire the sight, but I also didn’t want them to crush him any longer. “Let Levi breathe please,” I said

with an embarrassed smile.

My mom backed up, gripping Levi’s arms, “How have you been? How long are you staying? Are you going out?”

“As much as I would love to stay, Dani and I are actually going to Sarah’s softball game—it’s one of the wedding festivities,” he put air quotes around the word festivities, followed by a laugh.

“Sarah’s getting married?” Mandy asked romantically, clasping her hands together.

“She is,” he said with a smile, “end of May.” Turning his head to focus his attention on…me, oh no. My face flushed as he said, “Dani will be there.”

My eyes widened in the least discrete way possible. Why did he have to bring that up? The best option possible would have been to let them think we were just friends. Now—

“Oh, she will be?” she looked at me pointedly for not keeping her in the loop, “Why is that?”

Levi glanced at me; a light smile and romantic look sweeping over his face as he said, “We’re dating.”

Oh god. This was a lot of feelings for only day one of fake dating. I would’ve believed him too from the way his eyes darkened, and voice softened. It felt romantic and intimate, as if we shared secrets before getting ready for bed together and knew what each other’s lips tasted like.

If only it weren’t for the image of Levi’s hands on Bella last night.

“You’re what?!” If my mom and Mandy were excited to see Levi, then they were over the moon about this. I don’t think I’ve

seen her this happy since her dress was featured on the cover of Vogue.

“I never gave up hope on the two of you getting together! I knew you’d come around Levi!” Mandy shrieked as she gripped his arms in excitement.

Would I be overreacting right now if I walked into the first moving vehicle outside?

Instead, I avoided eye contact with Levi as he faced Mandy.

“When did this happen?!” My mom asked with a smile on her face, but not nearly as loud as Mandy, obviously questioning the circumstances of this situation.

But Levi and I hadn’t planned this far, and she knew that my ability to lie on the spot wasn’t the strongest. Fortunately for me though, lying about liking Levi wasn’t a lie at all. And Levi also knew how to act in on-the-spot situations.

“We ran into each other a few weeks ago at the bar down the street and started catching up,” Levi said effortlessly. “And then I invited her as my date to the wedding. Today is the first day of the pre-wedding events, but I’ll make sure to have her home right after—”

“No, no, no. As long as you keep her safe, she can stay out for as long as she wants,” Mandy squealed, like I was sixteen rather than twenty-two, with a smile bright enough to charge a solar panel. But it reminded me of how Levi and I did have to ask about curfews when we made plans in high school. I took it as my chance to rush us out before they could say anything else about my unrequited, embarrassing love life.

Leaping forward, I gave them each a kiss on the cheek, and

grabbed the hem of Levi’s shirt to drag him out.

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